To all, there is a science. What is the science behind love? How are our minds affected when we are in love? Benedict Carey uses scientific studies to explain why we fall in love and the keys to making this love last in, “The Brain in Love”.

Carey starts off by telling the “Unique Brain Activity” of a person in love. A study done by Fisher shows how when a person shows first signs of captivation, the chemical level of dopamine skyrockets, “…increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention, and exquisite delight in the smallest details of this novel relationship” (Carey 401). Carey is trying to tell us how this spike in dopamine levels affects us similarly as a drug would. Our mind is clouded, “This power is enough to warp judgment in otherwise sensible people” (Carey 402). Carey then follows up by telling how this leads to partners idealizing one another. Partners will make excuses for each other’s wrongs and inflate the good. This he explains to be the “pink lens effect”. He later tells us how “Some idealization may be crucial to building a longer term relationship” (Carey 402). The fact of the matter is, looking at your partner in such a positive light will only lead to more admiration for them. How you think of your partner now will affect how you see them later on. While Carey acknowledges the intoxicating state of passionate love helps couples get through the first two stages of a relationship, the pink lens effect mentioned by him earlier gets couples through stage three, “conflict, when tension and doubts about the couples future prompts arguments and soul-searching” (Carey 402). This point leads Carey on to explaining “Healthy Romanticizing”.

Using studies of a 1996 experiment, Carrey explains how idealizing your partner results in a healthier relationship in the long run. This study done by psychologists at the State University of New York at Buffalo found that “couples who were closest one year later were those who idealized each other the most. The idealizing seemed to help carry these couples through the inevitable rough spots… actually creating the relationships they wished for as romances progressed” (Carrey 402). Essentially, to be in a healthy relationship you have to fake it until you make it. You almost create the perfect person in your head, and start to believe that your partner is just that. You don’t put their flaws above their strengths. As Carrey describes this, he doesn’t make it sound as if it’s a bad thing, it just so happens to be the recipe for a happy and healthy long term relationship.

Carrey finishes off his essay telling us how a quick love with so much passion will come to an end, as a positive mindset on love will result in a lifetime of happiness. Research by Huston shows that “People who had very intense, Hollywood-type romances at the beginning were likely to have a big drop-off later on, and this often changed their view of the other’s character. (Carrey 403). Going back to the power of love on the brain, it’s like a drug. We aren’t the same when in it, we do things that make us take more risks, we sacrifice ourselves for the other person. As said by Carrey, “If passionate romance is like a drug, as the MRI images suggest, then it’s bound to lose its kick” (Carrey 403). His points go hand in hand, if a love is so intense from the start, it will eventually fade. Going back to the pink lens effect, it is crucial to not have such a strong love from the start, but rather to grow and see your partner great in all aspects for a further path of self discovery. “The highs don’t last, but neither does the withdrawal. With time the craving and pain go away and the brain returns to normal” (Carey 403). This being true in the aspect of love.

Overall, Benedict Carrey explains people’s behaviors when in love and tells us the keys to successful relationships in his essay “The Brain in Love”. His points being brought up by research and studies he has gathered. He makes valid points on the way of making a relationship last a lifetime, that being by idealizing the other person. While the effects of dopamine are increased in the first signs of falling in love, this “high” can only last so long. It quickly fades and reality sets in. Looking at the person in front of you with an optimistic eye, you and your partner are bound to have an unequivocal lifetime of joy.